[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEVdalEJ_X4[/youtube]

Dang put me down for two boxes

LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE
A Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on
the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and
said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go
quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger.'


The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it
slowly and said to the total stranger, 'What would you
like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the southern
congressman. 'How about global warming or universal
health care', and he smiles smugly.


'OK, ' she said. 'Those could be interesting
topics. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow,
and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer
excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?'


The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little
girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says,
'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel
qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care
when you don't know shit?

From the mouths of "Babes"

uh I got get it

Here in northern germany we have a little odd joke wich tends to poke fun at both germans and americans... I'll try to translate it...

a cowboy dressed like guy walks into a bar.

he seats himself besides a local farmer and orders a beer.

he then turns to the farmer and says "back in america, i have a farm so big, when i get in my car and try to drive around it, i need 3 DAYS to do that!"

the local german farmer turns to the american and says "oh, i once had the same type of car..."

Quickies


1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
2) How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic.
9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut.
11) Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.
12) The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you in?"
13) The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
14) Why do men take showers instead of baths? Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
15) Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Dirty Words


One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".

Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said "cooking".

Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words "bitches and hoes". He went home and his father told him it meant "grandpa and grandma".

Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and says...
"Hey bitches and hoes! I'll take your shit to the closet cause dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!