der Luftkühlers
http://www.dlkweb.org/phpBB3/

Joke Thread NSFW
http://www.dlkweb.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=385		 Page 1 of 22
Author:  ConcreteAce [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Joke Thread NSFW
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down
beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in
years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him
"Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the
little b*st*rd!!
Author:  Cousin It [ Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
I REAR-ENDED A CAR THIS MORNING…SO THERE WE ARE ALONG SIDE THE ROAD AND SLOWLY THE DRIVER GETS OUT OF THE CAR. . . . AND YOU KNOW SOMETIMES HOW YOU JUST-GET-SOOOO-STRESSED AND LIFE-STUFF SEEMS TO GET FUNNY? YEAH, WELL, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT . . . HE WAS A DWARF! HE STORMS OVER TO MY CAR,… LOOKS UP AT ME… AND ANGRILY SAYS,… "I'M NOT HAPPY!!!" SO,… I LOOK DOWN AT HIM AND SAY, …"WELL, THEN WHICH ONE ARE YOU?"
AND, THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED!!!!!!!!!
Author:  ConcreteAce [ Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
maybe he is grumpy :mrgreen:
Author:  Dlicious [ Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
Thats horrible James! Snow White once dreamed of getting 7", but not an inch at a time!
Author:  veedubcrazy [ Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
These two gay guys walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, "Mind if I push your stool in?"... :lol:
Author:  EAnderson [ Fri Apr 25, 2008 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
Here's one.....

Paint and body guy gets of work today before 6:30 :dance: Only to figure out somehow he locked his keys in his truck when putting some things in the passenger side seat. Had to shamefully tell his wife so she can bring me......oh him his spare keys!!!!!! :oops:
Author:  Claymore [ Thu May 01, 2008 11:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
Subject: Old man, new Corvette convertible

A Wisconsin senior citizen drove his brand new
Corvette convertible out of a Milwaukee dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had
left.

'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-94 towards
Madison, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view
mirror, he saw a State
Patrol car behind him, blue and red lights flashing.He
floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.

Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old
for this,' and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to
the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is
Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've
never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago,
my wife ran off with a Wisconsin State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the Trooper.
Author:  barkeep [ Fri May 02, 2008 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
^^ thats some funny shit right there ^^
Author:  PurplePassionT3 [ Mon May 05, 2008 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
Not really a joke, but a jigsaw puzzle to do online of Herbie.

http://www.jigzone.com/puzzles/FA055D51C50F?z=25
Author:  Claymore [ Thu May 15, 2008 6:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joke Thread
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.



"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.



"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."



The pastor asked, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"



The old lady replied, "$10,000 a week."



The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful! What does he do for a living?"



"He is a veterinarian," she answered.



"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"



The little old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."
Page 1 of 22 All times are UTC - 6 hours
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/