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| Joke Thread NSFW http://www.dlkweb.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=385 |
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| Author: | 69vduber [ Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
Six Truths in Life 1 . You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck . 2 . All idiots, after reading #1 will try it . 3 . And discover #1 is a lie . 4 . You are smiling now because you are an idiot . 5 . You soon will Share this with another idiot . 6 . There is still a stupid smile on your face . I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company 
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| Author: | Cousin It [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
The Texas Department of Safety Officer pulled over Texas SUV owner Mike for a weapons check because of an NRA bumper sticker on the back. When the officer approached the vehicle, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver's license, insurance card and concealed carry permit. The officer took all the documents, looked them over and said. "Mr. Murray, I see you have a CCW. Do you have any weapons with you?" The driver replied, " Yes I do. I have a 357 handgun in a hip holster, a 45 in the glove box and a 22 derringer in my boot." The officer looked at Mike and asked, "Anything else?" "Yes. I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 in the back." The officer asked if the man was driving to or from a shooting range and the man said he wasn't, so the officer bent over and looked into the driver's face and said "Mr. Murray, you're are carrying quite a few guns. May I ask what you are afraid of? Mike locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered, "Absolutely Nothing." |
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| Author: | oval1 [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
Haha, I like that 
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| Author: | ConcreteAce [ Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
oval1 wrote: Haha, I like that X2 |
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| Author: | BrookShadow_RC [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
69vduber wrote: Six Truths in Life 1 . You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck . 2 . All idiots, after reading #1 will try it . 3 . And discover #1 is a lie . 4 . You are smiling now because you are an idiot . 5 . You soon will Share this with another idiot . 6 . There is still a stupid smile on your face . I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company Wayne, Dang it! I am an idiot... But so is my wife and my daughter.  My 15 year old son says he did not fall for it... there is hope for us yet! Too funny! |
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| Author: | BrookShadow_RC [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
These first two are wayyy tacky, but I laughed... Playboy reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue. Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic. In other news........ we all remember when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs. Now, KFC is offering the "Obama Cabinet Bucket". It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit. and even some of the Brits get it: http://youtu.be/oYQQzFY7CqQ (Sorry, I could not embed it correctly.) |
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| Author: | nipples1 [ Tue May 08, 2012 12:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
Please read with your worst irish accent. mrs mcgovern is walking down the street in dublin ireland father o'connell is walking on the same street they meet midway and mrs mcgovern looks at father o'connell mrs mcgovern how are you? I am fine father. I havent seen you since I married you and the mister. yes father. so tell me you have any wee ones yet? no father but we are trying. I tell you what my dear, I am going to rome, and will light you a candle. oh bless you father. some years go bye mrs mcgovern and father o'connell meet out again mrs mcgovern how are you my dear? fine just busy. so tell me any wee ones yet? oh yes we have three and one on the way. oh thats wonderful my dear. so tell me wheres the mister? he went on holiday to rome. whats he doin in rome? he went to blow out your fookin candle!!!!! |
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| Author: | kdf38 [ Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Obama CUR |
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- A big dog left a shrine to "Buttock Hussein Osama" in my yard last week... I accidentally stepped in it in the dark and had to scrape it off of my shoe.  -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Mike |
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| Author: | kdf38 [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
Got a laugh out of this today... It's an old joke and unfortunately very sad but true, but I don't recall hearing it before. There was a pic in the original email that did not make it through into my email.... ======================================================== While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle''. Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.' The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just Wonder what kind of Fools put him up there to begin with." Best explanation I've heard yet. ===================================== Post turtle - Osama |
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| Author: | ConcreteAce [ Fri Jul 27, 2012 6:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Joke Thread NSFW |
That's a good one mike |
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